Self-management, an essential quality for leaders

Leaders need to be able to apply self-management in order to be credible. Here are some tips how to handle bad days.

Are you having some days where you feel more highly-strung ? It doesn’t take much for you to lose control of yourself. Words may inadvertently slip out. You find it hard to manage your facial expressions. Self-management has disappeared off your ‘to do’ list for the day.

Chances are you have been building up some frustration or you may be simply having a bad day. Blessed are the ones who have never had a bad day in their life.

There’s nothing wrong with having a bad day as long, as a leader, you are conscious about it. The worst thing you could do is to take out your bad mood on your team and they don’t have a clue what’s going on.

If you are having one of these days then postponing important decisions and negotiations to another day is probably a very good idea. Why ? Because your decision making process is likely to be dysfunctional. Your head is clouded by your feelings and you are likely to say or do things you wouldn’t say or do on a normal day.

Regret always comes too late.

Why ought a ‘burst-out’ be avoided at all times ?

Trust can disappear in minutes. There’s a Dutch saying that “Trust comes on foot, but leaves on horseback.”
Our credibility is affected if we are not able to manage ourselves in a leadership position.
If we are having a fit on a regular basis we are no longer taken seriously. People will start drawing up emotional walls to protect themselves against our whims.
If you say bad things behind people’s backs, then others may become paranoid that you say bad things about them too.

Control yourself as a leader ! Manage your emotions ! Apply self-management !

Watch the video below on how you can do this. It’s an interesting read as well, The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters. Some of my coaching clients and students have found this very useful.

I have 3 key guides which I use whenever I feel frustrated or I’m having a bad day :

Don’t react immediately. Count to 10 or even better, sleep on it. After a night’s sleep things look very different. Sleep can work wonders!
When I have the urge to respond to an email very quickly, I write a draft so I can get it off my chest. Then – very importantly – I don’t send it! I save it and then the following morning I put myself in the receivers’ shoes and re-read it. Would I like to receive this message? No? Rework your email or perhaps don’t send it at all.
Work-out, go for a walk or go cycling! Get some fresh air and relax! You will feel better afterwards and the day may not look so bad after all.

Watch this compelling video to gain insight on how your emotional brain interferes with effective decision making.