We see it daily on the news, leaders not responding appropriately to people’s emotions. Of course leaders are constantly dealing with difficult matters. They need to make important decisions. Their attention is dispersed over many issues at the same time. Yet they underestimate how they are being perceived by the critical mass, how they are under observation at all times. And even more so in today’s world of social media.

If you behave badly, twitter is onto you.

And it’s not only about you, but it’s about the entire organisation. Just think of what happened with United Airlines some months ago when a passenger was involuntary removed from an overbooked aircraft. The news spread like wildfire, evoking strong emotions from people. The way a leader responds to the situation is then paramount.

It seems impossible for a leader to possess all skills to deal with any situation. It is not suggested every leader should develop all traits but growing more self-awareness would be a great start.

In an ideal world a leader should be able to

• give direction, communicate clearly, set boundaries, keep people safe
• encourage a team, help if needed, praise people for a job well done and care for employees
• think rationally about situations, consult with people
• be open to other’s opinions and find compromises
• show genuine emotions and be authentic, use humour when appropriate

and a whole list more…

It seems a huge task, but here’s how the task can be made lighter in order to develop more adaptability :

• First of all make sure you grow more self-awareness. Find yourself a good leadership coach, go on leadership courses, make sure you really know who you are as opposed to who you want to be perceived as.
• Talk to people, get out of your comfort zone and stretch. Practice, practice, practice with sharing ideas and feelings. Start in your safe environment with family, friends and your direct work environment.
• Find yourself some close advisors who are really good at those qualities you are lacking. Don’t hire the people who are like you ! It may feel comfortable to have more copies of yourself around, but how will it make any difference in becoming more adaptable ?
• Then get feedback at all times from advisors close to you, from people you trust and you will need to put some effort into building that trust.
• Make sure your advisors can trust you first, be open to their opinions, give their suggestions consideration and be transparent in your communication.
• If for example you are not a master at being empathic, then let people know. Honesty is much more appreciated than keeping on pretending. If you find it hard to talk about emotions, tell people. I bet after you shared it, you will feel relieved and you may be less reluctant to share your feelings after all.

The advisor’s task is often found in Personal Assistants. Sometimes they know their manager better than the managers know themselves.

Being a good leader is not an easy task and seems an impossible task without good advisors, collaborators, a great team to achieve goals.

Without support from others and without the skill to listen to others it’s a real challenge to be considerate of the sensitivity of individuals, of different national cultures, of what impactful communication looks like.

Especially under stress our qualities become our pitfalls and this is exactly why leaders need to be very self-aware and be open to feedback and suggestions from close advisors, who have different qualities from the leaders’ and can therefore compensate for any shortcomings.

Adaptability is the key and letting people help you achieve this, certainly qualifies for being adaptable.